Sunday 23 January 2011

Six Sentence Sunday #3

Continuing directly on from last week's post, I give you the next snippet from Help in Ages Past.


The commander in chief of the United forces reached up and slowly removed his glasses, placing them on the table gently. He reached into his right hand breast pocket and pulled out a handkerchief, employing it as a mop in the heat of the complex that was Pivot; even the air-con didn’t help anymore. He gradually lowered his other hand – the one holding the missive – to the table, reached behind him for a chair, and sat down on it heavily.

Slowly he looked at those standing around the strategy holo ... all of his top men, waiting for his word. They knew how this would end; had always known. Ever since that fateful day when ... but he would not think of that now.

23 comments:

  1. You show the Commander in Chief's stress very well. I want to find out about that fateful day... :)

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  2. Thanks Jessica - I was worried it was too detailed. Clearly I found a balance ... :-)

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  3. Great job! Definitely captured the Commander in Chief's stress. And like Jessica, I want to know about that day.

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  4. Left us with another hook - that fateful day?
    Also, great word from the verification! :-P

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  5. It's the little things that show us so much about characters. the glasses, the beads of sweat... You captured his angst very well

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  6. Great tension, great hook. Fateful day? Must know more!

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  7. Great hook! I need to know about hte fateful day!

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  8. Awesome...love the suspense you've built here

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  9. Now I need to know how it all will end too! Great six.

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  10. That's awesome. I totally need to know what happens next!

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  11. Wonderful detail in the actions, almost like everything's gone in to slow motion, as things tend to do in the human mind when things go critical.

    Love how you left this on a monumental question. What a cliffhanger!

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  12. Like how he reaches back for the chair. Definitely want to know what's going on.

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  13. Very tense scene. Amazing how just a few sentences can set a mood. Thanks for sharing!

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  14. Wow, it makes me want to know the back story. Why is the world ending?! Great job!

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  15. Great tension here and raises immediate questions.

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  16. ooh Now I want to know what happened back "then". Excellent snippet!

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  17. I could just imagine this whole scene play out, very detailed, great six!

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