Immovable Object - or not?

Last week Friday this bird intrigued me so much that I had to photograph it. Now you're wondering 'Why? ... It's a common Wood Pigeon!'

You see, for about an hour and a half, this bird just sat there. It didn't budge. I had to actually watch it for about five minutes to check that it was actually alive! And that was only because it occassionally made very small movements of the head.

Thankfully it eventually did leave, long after I had started to get worried about it. I suspect it was a juvenile, and didn't know where to go next. Who knows.

How often do we just stagnate? Do the people around us have to check up on us to see that we're alive? Perhaps sometimes it's a good thing if they do ....

A fine challenge today has been!

Well, following my last two posts, I've had a real challenge on my hands today (I'm writing this on Friday evening). I've battled to keep my anger down when I was on the receiving end of two emails that I really do not feel I deserved, at the same time as trying to remember my post from yesterday! Forgiveness has been very hard to come by ... and although I've SAID to God that I forgive the people involved, I'm still feeling rather tense and unsettled about the whole situation.

As my comment to the previous post says, I KNOW in my head that forgiving is far better than seeing revenge, but trying to get that knowledge down to the heart is a real battle. And it isn't made easier by the following, which I read today:

Don't seek retribution. Instead, '...overcome evil with good' (Romans 12:21). God said, '...Vengeance is mine; I will repay' (Romans 12:19). Don't rush to judgement.

That's not always easy when you're the injured party, but the ultimate Judge said, 'With what judgement you judge, you will be judged...' (Matthew 5:24 NKJV). Make things right. Jesus said, '...be reconciled to your brother...' (Matthew 5:24 NIV). Don't wait for the other person to make the first move, you do it. Paul says, 'Make every effort to live in peace with all men...' (Hebrews 12:14 NIV). Pray for the offender. As much as it goes against your grain, when you '...pray for those who mistreat you' (Luke 6:28 NIV), God gives you the grace to forgive and see them through His eyes.

(taken from 'The Word for Today').

This is still a challenge for me as I write, but I am, thankfully, getting calmer as the hours go by, and more charitable - more willing to make allowances for things that were said.

Forgiveness?

Following on from yesterday's post ....

I just don't know right now where to completely give up on people or not. And saying as much just breaks my heart, as I'm not one to give up. But I keep coming back to a passage I read yesterday morning, which actually made me go and modify the last sentence of yesterday's blog post to how it got posted - that sentence was far more final before. Anyways, this is the post:

'Make allowance for each other's faults...' Colossians 3:13 NLT

When it comes to forgiving, you can't say it better than Tim Stafford did: 'I would rather be cheated a hundred times, than develop a heart of stone.'

The Bible says,  'Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.' You don't get to choose who you'll forgive. Love is a command, forgiveness is an act of obedience. 'He has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother' (1 John 4:21 NIV). You can't be closer to God than you are to the people you love least. God sets the bar high because grudges are like cancer, and forgiveness is the laser that removes them. Bitterness chains us to the past, destroys families, divides churches and sours relationships. Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the handcuffs of hate.

Take your hurt feelings to God and say, 'Point out anything... that offends you...' (Psalm 139:24 NLT). It takes courage, but that's the kind of prayer He answers. It gets easier as you grow in Christ; in the meantime you have to work at it. As a child of God His Spirit lives inside you. You're no longer a slave to sin (Romans 6:14). God knows it's hard to forgive deep-seated hurts, but He will give you grace to do it.

To 'make allowance' means to take a charitable view and consider extenuating circumstances. People change and grow over time, so don't insist on clinging to a limited, outdated view of them. Try to see them as they are today. Most folks are doing their best based on the knowledge and understanding they have now, so give them a break!

Me again: to be honest, I'm still thinking about it. This is definitely something I'm ... thinking and praying about ... not because I don't want to forgive, becausee I do ... but I need to go past a lot of pain to get there.

Is Moving to a New Country Easy?

Well, it depends. The first time I moved to England (alone), it was quite easy. Probably because I was younger and didn't think too much about it! I made some good friends within three months of arriving, took things easy, and found a church that welcomed me in. That church became the foundation for my life here in England, and I appreciated it. I still see friends from that church on occassion.

Second time around (with my husband), however, the answer has to be a "No". Although the country is again England (I returned to South Africa - another 'new country' move - in the meantime), the situation is totally different. Some things were easy. God provided work for my husband (I came over with work intact) within a very short space of time, we had sufficient finances to cover eventualities, and we were able to eventually move into fully-furnished accomodation (plus car) thanks to some dear friends who were moving to South Africa. God does work all things together!

Beyond that, however, it has not been easy at all. We are the outsiders in the community, understandably, but we are also the outsiders in our church. This is, to me, a completely foreign situation, as my understanding of church is that strangers should be welcomed in, tested (do they believe what we believe?), and be made to feel part of the church family.

Writing this over a year and a half after we arrived in the town, I am still struggling to comprehend this. For me, the church family, not clubs and societies, has been what I have learned should be one's avenue for finding stability, friends and fellowship. I feel like I have to question this understanding, due to this figurative carpet being swept out from under my feet.

More on Secrets

I can personally say that, bearing in mind what I blogged about yesterday, it is far easier to 'get it off your chest' than to keep quiet about the deepest, darkest things that one wants to hide away. And that if God is the only person (being?) one can turn to, then that is certainly better than having no-one to turn to. I know what it is to have no-one to turn to but God. I once made a mistake, and lost a friend as a result. It hurt, like nothing else could hurt. I was so angry at myself for being so stupid. I eventually found comfort in the fact that God knows everything about me before I even talk to him, and that he still loves me, even when I make mistakes. And he doesn't go telling what he knows to those around me. He listens when I turn to him, and does not judge me. I could talk to him about how I felt, and even knowing that he alone (at the time) knew what I'd done, it was strangely comforting.

In my friendships I do what I can to provide my friends, when they're hurting, with a safe haven. I have always maintained that 'it is always better to have at least one person one can talk to' - and if they have no-one else who will listen, I do my best to be that listener.

I think however, that one needs to include, along with these 'secrets', frustrations. I get very frustrated about things (and it's an old frustration ... some things do not change), and I rarely let people know that I am frustrated. This is because there's often fingers pointing away from me, but I then remember that there some pointing back at me too, and that makes me think. I can honestly say that I have yet to find out why those fingers point back at me.

My Mom has always told me that writing things down is the best way to deal with secrets and frustrations, because then God can work with it. It certainly is therapeutic to write, although for many years playing the piano was the therapy that would put my thoughts back on track when I was frustrated. I think the most important thing to do is, find something constructive that allows your mind to free-wheel while you're busy, and that builds you up instead of breaks you down. Playing music and writing definitely appear to be two options - for me, at least.