Thursday, 21 October 2010

Identities - chasing after the wind??

I've been thinking about identities again. This is mostly due to several things over the last few days that have pointed me back to this search for an identity. Although I think the nature of the search has been slightly modified.

By 'identity' I've realised, I don't so much mean 'who am I?' as a sense of peace about who I am and what I stand for. This has previously been sold to me in the wrapping of 'know who you are in God, place your sense of identity with Him, and you will be at peace with who you are'. However, I will admit that I'm beginning to question this.

My main reasons for questioning this perspective come right out of the Bible. If one looks at various people whose appear in the Bible, one comes across a wide range of doubters, anxiety-sufferers, depressives ... those are the few I can think of right now, I'm quite sure that the list goes on (apart from the murderers, adulterers etc) ... Anyways, what I guess I'm trying to get at is that, even though these people knew God, and in some cases, very well, they still had issues with themselves and the world in which they lived. They certainly did not perpetually radiate an aura of peace and tranquility. No, more often they spent their time questioning God!

So, I'm beginning to think that perhaps finding this sense of identity, this sense of peace, belonging, security ... is a chasing after the wind. Certainly, as an end in itself, or even a means to [whatever] end, it will not provide the sense of fulfilment desired. Ultimately, I guess, one needs to be 'oneself' - whatever or whoever that is - and eventually one will get to know oneself. I don't know. And I'm not sure I'm making too much sense either!

This doesn't mean that I discount following God and searching for one's identity in Him - I just feel that one can try to do that for all the wrong reasons, and end up getting nowhere. Hmmmm.