Why is there such a problem with this two-letter word? One would think that, being one of the shortest decision-making words around, it would be a very easy one to use, but over and over I hear people saying 'I can't say "no" ...'
Do we let people down by saying 'no'? Do we miss out on a good time? Do we miss out on earning more money? Do we miss out on free time? Are we insecure about ourselves, and therefore say 'yes' all the time?
Sure, all of these things - but consider these questions: Do we build ourselves up? Do we allow others to abuse our good natures - does it become more about 'I have to do it' than 'I like to do it'? Do we take responsibility for things that should be other people's responsibility? Do we encourage mismanagement by not saying 'no'? Do we become 'people-pleasers', unwilling to upset anybody?
Regarding the last question, it's a well-known fact that one will die before one can please everybody.
Personally, I do not find it easy to say 'no' either. However, I have learnt that, when it comes to contractual obligations, there are boundaries that should not be crossed, such as working overtime without recompense; taking on duties that one has no training for; keeping quiet when one is not given the tools to do what one is required to do. These are instances that, for me, cause stress, and stress is by far the most unhealthy condition on the planet, I think. Therefore I have learned to draw the line on these points.
I must admit that I struggle saying 'no' to people who try to use me just because I don't say 'no' a lot. Morally, I think I'm fine. I know what I stand for and I'm not going to move away from that. :)
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